So, they called it a day ahead of time. No school. Suffield kids are starting to like the idea of winter three-day weekends. Don't linger in your 'jammies, children. Spring is right around the corner.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Another snow day in Suffield
So, they called it a day ahead of time. No school. Suffield kids are starting to like the idea of winter three-day weekends. Don't linger in your 'jammies, children. Spring is right around the corner.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Reassert civility
I was talking to another Suffield resident who had been on the receiving end of a lot of harsh online commentary. I didn't get into it, and it seemed to have died down a while ago, but for this woman it still stung.
What is it about online commenting that brings the worst out in people?
It reminded me of a similar episode that hit Suffield High School and ultimately died down through a combination of a quiet collective condemnation and the apparent graduation of the perpetrators. At the height of the mayhem, someone humorously tweeted to the troll/s:
“It's gonna be fun when everyone figures out who you are and I make awkward eye contact with you around the school.”
So dry. So cutting. So true. So Suffield.
Friday, February 6, 2015
Democracy in Suffield, pt. 2
I've gotten a little bit of feedback on the can't-we-all-just-get-along column, and it's pretty interesting. One reader called and said she agreed completely and then vented about her frustration of the First Selectman. (Evidently, there is another incident in town where folks just lost it.) Not to play devil's advocate, but I mentioned to her that I knew someone, a guy I considered to be intelligent and rational, that thought the first selectman was a stand-up guy. She bristled. "I'm sure there are people who like him. He was elected after all."
Yes, indeed.
There's the rub with democracy. Sometimes you are not a fan of the person who's in office. Life goes on.
I remember during the 2000 presidential debacle, when for a few weeks in time the leader of the free world couldn't determine who'd be president, my aunt, who lives in a South American country, called my mom and chastised the United States for the electoral indecision. My mom shot back: "Look, where you are, when an election is undecided, they break out the guns; here, they break out the lawyers. I'd rather have the lawyers."
Lawyer jokes notwithstanding, take a look around the world in countries where democracy has hit a bumpy road and count your blessings. It could be so much worse.
Yes, indeed.
There's the rub with democracy. Sometimes you are not a fan of the person who's in office. Life goes on.
I remember during the 2000 presidential debacle, when for a few weeks in time the leader of the free world couldn't determine who'd be president, my aunt, who lives in a South American country, called my mom and chastised the United States for the electoral indecision. My mom shot back: "Look, where you are, when an election is undecided, they break out the guns; here, they break out the lawyers. I'd rather have the lawyers."
Lawyer jokes notwithstanding, take a look around the world in countries where democracy has hit a bumpy road and count your blessings. It could be so much worse.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Facebook fights?
One of the things I've been hearing from Suffield folks is that things can get ugly on Facebook. I'm not exactly sure how it's happening. I haven't seen it on any of the walls of Suffield groups. I'm guessing someone posts something on their own wall, people respond and things get out of hand. To a person, everyone thinks this is a bad way to discuss local issues.
It's just so not-Suffield.
When you talk face-to-face to someone, you can read the reaction to what you're saying. Unless you are a complete sociopath or the drunken idiot at the end of the bar, you unconsciously back off when you perceive offense. Even on the phone, you can pick up on someone's annoyance. But, in Facebook, Twitter or whatever, the safeties are off -- you are free to be boorish.
When something like online commentary starts generating bad blood between neighbors, it's a problem. In the old days, the powers that be would break out the branks or "scold's bridle." Today, well, there's only so much anyone can do.
I guess the answer is twofold: watch what you say and cut people some slack.
It's just so not-Suffield.
When you talk face-to-face to someone, you can read the reaction to what you're saying. Unless you are a complete sociopath or the drunken idiot at the end of the bar, you unconsciously back off when you perceive offense. Even on the phone, you can pick up on someone's annoyance. But, in Facebook, Twitter or whatever, the safeties are off -- you are free to be boorish.
 |
| The "Scold's Bridle" … ouch! |
I guess the answer is twofold: watch what you say and cut people some slack.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Democracy in Suffield
The paper only gives me 425 words to write what I have to write, and anyone who knows me can guess that's not easy for me. I usually start out with 1,000 words and whittle -- no, chop -- it down to the requested length. Mine's not to reason why, Mine's to do or die.
I'm sure the editor's have their reasons -- paper and ink, space, etc., but here in a digital medium, I am free to ramble on and maybe include some of the stories that didn't make into the printed column.
With that in mind, let me expand on the anecdote I included in the column.
So, in 2006, the proposed Suffield budget came out and a few folks flipped out. There were the usual proposed cuts, but the one that absolutely galled people was the elimination of the high school swim team. For people who competitively swim (swam), it seemed unconscionable to cut a sport that comparatively seemed so inexpensive. It's not like there's a ton of equipment to buy, and Suffield didn't even have to pay for the upkeep of a school pool (they just had to pay a usage fee at a local facility.)
The whole move, and the budget for that matter, seemed so capricious. And, like that one seemingly small, insignificant measure that turns out to be THE STRAW that breaks the proverbial camel's back, this cut put people over the edge.
One of those people was my friend and neighbor Kathy, who decided to invite everyone she knew who had a dog in this fight to her home and strategize. To be honest with you, I did not have a have a dog in this fight. I agreed in principle that education cuts in a budget were bad, but it didn't burn me the way other issues did. At the time, I was the head of a nonprofit state advocacy group and did have experience in shaking things up. Along with a lot of other committed advocates and activists, we passed the strongest package of campaign finance reform laws and ethics laws the nation has ever seen. I think Kathy invited me because she thought I could contribute.
The group at her house numbered about 10 or so, and it was diverse, insomuch as anything in Suffield can be diverse. In one form or another, Democrats, Republicans, men, women, old, young, public school, private school were represented in Kathy's living room. After everyone introducing themselves and why they were there, things got down to business quickly.
Everything rode on the Town Meeting that was scheduled that month. For those unfamiliar with Suffield government, we have an old form of government that dates back to Colonial times. We don't have a mayor or town council. We have a Board of Selectmen, which is pretty much run by the First Selectmen. There are other boards… Board of Finance, Board of Education, etc., but in general the show is run by the Selectmen. They are the Executive branch of local government.
The Legislative branch, well, that's the people of Suffield. Each and every registered voter has a role in the day-to -- well, it's more like month-to-month or year-to-year -- operation of government. Basically, when something big is about to happen, a Town Meeting is called, a sign is put on the Suffield Green and the firehouses around town and people show up to the high school to perform their civic duty.
Most of the time, these meetings are poorly attended. Suffield has about 9,000 registered voters. The town's lucky if 90 people (1 percent) show up.
So, to key to changing the budget hung in getting people to show up to the Town Meeting.
I immediately proposed to employing the tactics that helped me and others get things done at the Capitol. Organize, invigorate and intimidate! I feverishly explained how we needed to identify all the people who were sick of the petty budget cuts, organize them in a central group and communicate to all our opponents that they will be held accountable for actions against education. The group needed to be recognized as a force to be reckoned with. I think I may have pumped my fist a lot, which had the added impact of pumping my ego.
My ideas were met with extreme resistance and disapproval.
"No, no, no… you can't do that in Suffield. This is a small town."
We argued back and forth, and, outnumbered, I had to concede. We all decided that each one of us would speak at the Town Meeting about the importance of education to a community and ask them to back off on some of the cuts. Hardly as symbolic as dumping tea in Boston Harbor, but whatever.
I don't remember if I said it out loud or thought it, but I remember feeling that this master plan was doomed to fail.
Well, the Town Meeting came, and the turnout was immense -- maybe 1,000 people, maybe more. And, true to our strategy, each one of the concerned residents that met at Kathy's stood up and spoke. We all had something different to say. I think I played the I'm-new-to-town-but-love-the-schools angle. It got the ball rolling. More people spoke. It wasn't all pro-school, but there was the general impression that most of the people wanted to ease up on the cuts and most of all save the swim team.
There was a voice vote, and the cuts were eased back. Victory.
The day after, I left Kathy a voicemail that more or less conceded that she and the group were right and I was wrong, and that I was glad she put together the meeting. When I made the call, I was driving to New Hampshire to give a speech to activists on how to pass campaign finance reform. It was a diverse group of concerned New Hampshire citizens that so desperately wanted the kind of reforms we had just passed in Connecticut. I don't know if they expected me to give them some of secret strategy or just a brief account of how we did it, but I more or less said to them that you didn't need to be anyone special or licensed or qualified to enact reform. You just had to speak up and keep trying until you succeeded. That's secret and the beauty of democracy.
So, present-day, things have gone sideways in Suffield. Everyone has a story. I bumped into Kathy's husband, John, at the Three Figs restaurant in town a couple of weeks ago, and he lamented at how toxic debate in Suffield has become. He asked me if I remembered the time Kathy invited a bunch of people over to change the budget. "Remember it? I just wrote about it," I told him.
"That was a great time," he said.
There's no reason to think it can't be great again.
I'm sure the editor's have their reasons -- paper and ink, space, etc., but here in a digital medium, I am free to ramble on and maybe include some of the stories that didn't make into the printed column.
With that in mind, let me expand on the anecdote I included in the column.
So, in 2006, the proposed Suffield budget came out and a few folks flipped out. There were the usual proposed cuts, but the one that absolutely galled people was the elimination of the high school swim team. For people who competitively swim (swam), it seemed unconscionable to cut a sport that comparatively seemed so inexpensive. It's not like there's a ton of equipment to buy, and Suffield didn't even have to pay for the upkeep of a school pool (they just had to pay a usage fee at a local facility.)
The whole move, and the budget for that matter, seemed so capricious. And, like that one seemingly small, insignificant measure that turns out to be THE STRAW that breaks the proverbial camel's back, this cut put people over the edge.
One of those people was my friend and neighbor Kathy, who decided to invite everyone she knew who had a dog in this fight to her home and strategize. To be honest with you, I did not have a have a dog in this fight. I agreed in principle that education cuts in a budget were bad, but it didn't burn me the way other issues did. At the time, I was the head of a nonprofit state advocacy group and did have experience in shaking things up. Along with a lot of other committed advocates and activists, we passed the strongest package of campaign finance reform laws and ethics laws the nation has ever seen. I think Kathy invited me because she thought I could contribute.
The group at her house numbered about 10 or so, and it was diverse, insomuch as anything in Suffield can be diverse. In one form or another, Democrats, Republicans, men, women, old, young, public school, private school were represented in Kathy's living room. After everyone introducing themselves and why they were there, things got down to business quickly.
Everything rode on the Town Meeting that was scheduled that month. For those unfamiliar with Suffield government, we have an old form of government that dates back to Colonial times. We don't have a mayor or town council. We have a Board of Selectmen, which is pretty much run by the First Selectmen. There are other boards… Board of Finance, Board of Education, etc., but in general the show is run by the Selectmen. They are the Executive branch of local government.
The Legislative branch, well, that's the people of Suffield. Each and every registered voter has a role in the day-to -- well, it's more like month-to-month or year-to-year -- operation of government. Basically, when something big is about to happen, a Town Meeting is called, a sign is put on the Suffield Green and the firehouses around town and people show up to the high school to perform their civic duty.
Most of the time, these meetings are poorly attended. Suffield has about 9,000 registered voters. The town's lucky if 90 people (1 percent) show up.
So, to key to changing the budget hung in getting people to show up to the Town Meeting.
I immediately proposed to employing the tactics that helped me and others get things done at the Capitol. Organize, invigorate and intimidate! I feverishly explained how we needed to identify all the people who were sick of the petty budget cuts, organize them in a central group and communicate to all our opponents that they will be held accountable for actions against education. The group needed to be recognized as a force to be reckoned with. I think I may have pumped my fist a lot, which had the added impact of pumping my ego.
My ideas were met with extreme resistance and disapproval.
"No, no, no… you can't do that in Suffield. This is a small town."
We argued back and forth, and, outnumbered, I had to concede. We all decided that each one of us would speak at the Town Meeting about the importance of education to a community and ask them to back off on some of the cuts. Hardly as symbolic as dumping tea in Boston Harbor, but whatever.
I don't remember if I said it out loud or thought it, but I remember feeling that this master plan was doomed to fail.
Well, the Town Meeting came, and the turnout was immense -- maybe 1,000 people, maybe more. And, true to our strategy, each one of the concerned residents that met at Kathy's stood up and spoke. We all had something different to say. I think I played the I'm-new-to-town-but-love-the-schools angle. It got the ball rolling. More people spoke. It wasn't all pro-school, but there was the general impression that most of the people wanted to ease up on the cuts and most of all save the swim team.
There was a voice vote, and the cuts were eased back. Victory.
The day after, I left Kathy a voicemail that more or less conceded that she and the group were right and I was wrong, and that I was glad she put together the meeting. When I made the call, I was driving to New Hampshire to give a speech to activists on how to pass campaign finance reform. It was a diverse group of concerned New Hampshire citizens that so desperately wanted the kind of reforms we had just passed in Connecticut. I don't know if they expected me to give them some of secret strategy or just a brief account of how we did it, but I more or less said to them that you didn't need to be anyone special or licensed or qualified to enact reform. You just had to speak up and keep trying until you succeeded. That's secret and the beauty of democracy.
So, present-day, things have gone sideways in Suffield. Everyone has a story. I bumped into Kathy's husband, John, at the Three Figs restaurant in town a couple of weeks ago, and he lamented at how toxic debate in Suffield has become. He asked me if I remembered the time Kathy invited a bunch of people over to change the budget. "Remember it? I just wrote about it," I told him.
"That was a great time," he said.
There's no reason to think it can't be great again.
This isn't the Suffield Way
Here's the Suffield Observations column from this month's paper.
If you’ve been paying attention lately, you may have observed that things in local government have gone sideways.
First, you have what amounts to a stand-off between management and rank-and-file at the police department over an accusation of a dispatcher being drunk on the job. An internal investigation is looking into the situation.
Second, you have what appears to be a complete meltdown at the Board of Education. The school superintendent mysteriously leaves for greener pastures, and several board members resign en masse.
Finally, amid vocal opposition, the Board of Selectmen reject a nominee put forth by the Democratic Town Committee for a vacant Democratic selectman position and select someone else.
When did Suffield start acting like other dysfunctional cities in Connecticut? What happened to the way things are done in Suffield?
About 10 years ago, I was asked to attend a gathering of folks in town concerned about cuts to the school budget. It was a diverse group: men, women; Republican, Democrat; etc. I think I was asked because at the time I was the executive director of a state advocacy group for good government and was fresh off a string of major victories at the Capitol. I was good at stirring things up (still am… it’s a gift and a curse), and I suggested some of those tactics in Suffield. I was promptly shut down. I was told that sort of thing wasn’t done in Suffield. Long story short, they were right. I was wrong. A compromise on the budget was reached, and the cuts weren’t as deep as proposed.
I don’t claim to know the how or whys of the way things are done in Suffield. To be honest, I find it all bewildering. I’m sure it’s not all roses, but I’ve been here long enough to see how the way things are done in Suffield can work well. I’m pretty sure the recent spate of spats doesn’t.
I don’t know who’s “right” in the latest mix-ups in town, but I do know a fight usually leaves someone feeling wronged. The bigger the fight, the deeper the grudge.
Maybe all this is just a reflection of the times where compromise is viewed as capitulation, and where Machiavellian tactics, long considered sociopathic, are accepted as just part of the game.
Those kind of things may not leave much of an impact in a city like Waterbury, but in a small town like Suffield it can leave a mark and a lot of bitterness.
It’s just not the way things are done in Suffield.
If you’ve been paying attention lately, you may have observed that things in local government have gone sideways.
First, you have what amounts to a stand-off between management and rank-and-file at the police department over an accusation of a dispatcher being drunk on the job. An internal investigation is looking into the situation.
Second, you have what appears to be a complete meltdown at the Board of Education. The school superintendent mysteriously leaves for greener pastures, and several board members resign en masse.
Finally, amid vocal opposition, the Board of Selectmen reject a nominee put forth by the Democratic Town Committee for a vacant Democratic selectman position and select someone else.
When did Suffield start acting like other dysfunctional cities in Connecticut? What happened to the way things are done in Suffield?
About 10 years ago, I was asked to attend a gathering of folks in town concerned about cuts to the school budget. It was a diverse group: men, women; Republican, Democrat; etc. I think I was asked because at the time I was the executive director of a state advocacy group for good government and was fresh off a string of major victories at the Capitol. I was good at stirring things up (still am… it’s a gift and a curse), and I suggested some of those tactics in Suffield. I was promptly shut down. I was told that sort of thing wasn’t done in Suffield. Long story short, they were right. I was wrong. A compromise on the budget was reached, and the cuts weren’t as deep as proposed.
I don’t claim to know the how or whys of the way things are done in Suffield. To be honest, I find it all bewildering. I’m sure it’s not all roses, but I’ve been here long enough to see how the way things are done in Suffield can work well. I’m pretty sure the recent spate of spats doesn’t.
I don’t know who’s “right” in the latest mix-ups in town, but I do know a fight usually leaves someone feeling wronged. The bigger the fight, the deeper the grudge.
Maybe all this is just a reflection of the times where compromise is viewed as capitulation, and where Machiavellian tactics, long considered sociopathic, are accepted as just part of the game.
Those kind of things may not leave much of an impact in a city like Waterbury, but in a small town like Suffield it can leave a mark and a lot of bitterness.
It’s just not the way things are done in Suffield.
Friday, December 19, 2014
Favorite angry Christmas card
About 20 years ago, I got a Christmas card from my friend Mark. Mark's a good friend of mine, and at the time he was much more responsible about sending holiday cards than I was. (To be honest with you, I didn't start sending Christmas cards until I got married. It just never entered my mind until my wife told this is what grown-ups did and by virtue of our vows I was now a grown up.)
Anyway, at the time, he lived in New York City, and though I lived 4+ hours away in Upstate New York, he knew my folks lived close to the city and that sooner or later I'd be obliged to visit my parents and have the opportunity to hang out in the city. Well, long story short, opportunities came and went, and I have to admit I was the "bad friend."
Come Christmas time, I got a card from Mark that said: "Merry Christmas. Isn't it about time you came for a visit to New York, you jerk!"
I laughed so hard.
Years later, I brought the angry Christmas card with him, and he denied writing such sentiments!
Sorry, pal, you wrote it and hold the current record for the angriest Christmas card I've ever received.
Anyway, at the time, he lived in New York City, and though I lived 4+ hours away in Upstate New York, he knew my folks lived close to the city and that sooner or later I'd be obliged to visit my parents and have the opportunity to hang out in the city. Well, long story short, opportunities came and went, and I have to admit I was the "bad friend."
Come Christmas time, I got a card from Mark that said: "Merry Christmas. Isn't it about time you came for a visit to New York, you jerk!"
I laughed so hard.
Years later, I brought the angry Christmas card with him, and he denied writing such sentiments!
Sorry, pal, you wrote it and hold the current record for the angriest Christmas card I've ever received.
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